The birthday Party

Saturday we had our family birthday party. We went to a park nearby in Temecula and the kids played as we all chatted and enjoyed ourselves.

The Birthday cake. Renee had a friend of hers make it for the kids and she did a fantastic job! One side was for Hollie and the other was for Ethan. The kiddos loved it.

Hollie got a bike for her birthday and took off riding with no problem.

Hanging out with my bestest friend EVER!

Amanda and Hollie. Oh, how I just love this picture. There are no words to describe it.

Beach

What is a trip to California if we don't go to the beach? Not fun! We LOVE the beach. That is one thing I wish Arizona had, but I still believe that one day we will. Haha.

We took a day and went down to La Jolla beach. Grandma Larson joined us and we had a blast. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

Love this picture of Ethan and the ocean. He is such a beach boy!

Grandma and the kids. Such a cute picture. The kids had a blast with grandma

We hiked down the cave at La Jolla. It was pretty neat. Gotta love Ethan and his finger...silly kid.

We did lots of walking and the kids favorite spots were on top of the shoulders. Ofcourse, you can see they just ate chocolate ice cream.

Birthday trip to Cali

Since March is such a special month in our family we decided to head to California to celebrate both Hollie and Ethan's birthday. The weekend was beautiful and we were very lucky to have our very best friend join us for the fun event, our birthmother.

For the first couple of days we stayed at our friends (pretty much family) house. We pulled the little quad out and the kids had a blast!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY ETHAN!!

I cannot believe it, my little boy is 2 years old! Boy, where does the time go? This last year Ethan has grown from being a baby to a big boy full of ENERGY!! We couldn't be more grateful to have this little man in our family. I can honestly say that in the last 2 years he, alone, has taught me SO much. I love him more than he will ever know. I love that when I think of him I smile. I enjoy watching him learn and figure things out. I have never seen a little boy have such a fettish with DVD's and the cases. If he doesn't have one he throws a fit and life is over...sorry Ethan, but it is kinda funny. He quickly gets over it and is on to the next thing. He LOVES being outside. Swinging is his favorite thing to do. He has developed a love for basketball and always wants to play. He is a great climber and loves showing us his climbing skills. He enjoys being the center of attention and once he knows he has everyone laughing he will continue what he is doing. Running around and playing rough with daddy is another favorite. You may think that after awhile Ethan would tire out, but he doesn't, he is the energizer Ethan. Morning and Nightime are my most favorite. In the "early" morning hours we lay on the couch with a movie on and he wants me to hold him and cuddle while we watch the movie. In the evening we sit in the rocking chair, read goodnight moon, sing popcorn popping and twinkle twinkle little start, cuddle and then he is off to bed. As much energy as this little man has he still will sit and cuddle with me and those are my most favorite moments. They moments may not be long, but I take what I can get.

I love you Ethan so much and I wish you the happiest 2nd birthday EVER!
Enjoying his birthday chocolate ice cream!

Love You Dude.

Mr. E

Just a picture to show you what our Ethan is up to now a days. We look at this and just laugh and smile, boy do we LOVE this boy!!!! He is ALL BOY and we LOVE him SO MUCH!!Gotta love the ducktape on the diaper and climbing the fridge!!!

Cousins

These are some of the first "real" pictures of the 3 cousins on the Cowles side. I have to say that they are the 3 cutest kids I have ever seen.

Ethan, Hollie and Owen

Love Ethan's finger in his nose...that's our BOY!

Our special visitor

We were lucky to have Mr. Owen (My brother's little boy) over at our house for a night. The kids were SO excited and couldn't wait to play with him. Owen received LOTS of LOVE and ATTENTION and they all enjoyed it.

Isn't this boy the CUTEST!? I just couldn't enough of those cheeks, they are so soft and squishy

Ethan loved taking care of Owen, he even fed him his food

Field trip to the Fire Station

For pre-school we took a trip to the local fire station. The kids were so excited to see the fireman and the fire trucks. One of the firemen even came down the pole and ALL the kids wanted to try to. It was a lot of fun and Hollie still talks about it.

After the fire station we went to lunch with daddy...so fun!

Our Family trip to Flagstaff

Ryan and I have been wanting to take the kids up to Flagstaff for a weekend of fun in the snow. We picked a weekend and, lucky us, we were dumped on with snow. We just went up for 1 night and 2 days and it was a blast. I think we all really enjoyed just being together as a family and not worrying about ANYTHING!! It was GREAT!

lots of sledding

building snowmen

enjoing my munchkins

sledding with Daddy

my girl

The two cutest kids

my boy, yes in purple gloves

playing in the snow

daddy and his boy

sledding by themselves...Ethan was DONE

Hollie LOVED eating the snow...ofcourse only white snow.

Daddy daughter date night

Our ward had a Daddy daughter night and Hollie was SO excited to go on her very own "special" date with dad. It was very cute watching her pick out her outfit and get ready. Here are a few pictures.

She is a SUNBEAM

At the turn of the New Year Hollie went from being in nursery at church to being a sunbeam. I cannot believe my little girl is old enough to now be in Primary. She was so excited and couldn't wait to sing the sunbeam song in primary. Here she is on her big day.

Christmas vacation (part2)

The day after Christmas we relaxed. We went to a place called Toms Farms and the kids got to ride on a few rides, we sipped on hot chocolate, walked through shops and saw a few animals. It was nice to get out and enjoy the cool weather.

DISNEYLAND

The Happiest Place on Earth

Dad, Janene, Me, Ryan, Hollie and Ethan

On the animal cage train ride...Ethan loved it.

Hollie got her driver's license...watch out
The evening couldn't end until we bought one light up balloon that cost us $13!!!!! Yes, can we say she is Daddy's little girl!

Finally Christmas part 1

I have been out of the "blogging world" for a bit and now I am back. There is so much to catch up on and I am going to finally get to Christmas.
This year Christmas was with my family in California. We were so excited to be together with my brother and his family, my dad and Janene. Our Christmas was perfect in every way and we LOVED being together. Here are a few highlights from our Christmas vacation.

Christmas morning was great, very relaxing and enjoyed eachothers company and new toys.

Santa brought Hollie a baby cradle and a highchair with baby accessories

Santa brought Ethan a coupe car, lots of cars and sports balls.

Our adorable Christmas morning family pic...haha, don't we look SO happy!? Hollie VERY tired, Ethan involved in what he has and then the happy parents and we were.

This is how I feel today

Infertility is not easy to deal with. I never knew how much it would still hurt. I was hoping that feeling would just go away. I know that I have been dealt this challenge for a reason, but why? I know that if I was able to get pregnant my life would be different. Trust me, I wouldn't trade Hollie and Ethan for the world, I KNOW they were to come to our family for a reason and would be here either way, but why couldn't I get pregnant also...is that asking to much? Maybe it is, but why? There are so many feelings I hold inside. Hearing people say they are pregnant is hard, seeing pregnant women is hard, seeing pictures of newborns laying on their mother's tummy is hard...that will never be me. Looking at blogs there are sometimes I just cry or just have to turn it off and not look at them for awhile, but it seems that when I do I just get frustrated. Trust me there is no one who is happier to see or hear someone who is pregnant, than I, because I understand that it is truly a miracle, but it will always hurt. Being infertile I carry so much guilt, guilt that one would never know or understand. it is so hard. I truly live through our birthmother's experience and I couldn't be more grateful for her, I love her more than she will ever know, she is my hero and she made my dreams come true. I will be forever indebted to her for her sacrifice. But, why can't the feelings of infertility just go away, I don't want to think about it, but I do. It is always in the back of my mind.
I got on my favorite blog today called the R house, this is an adoption blog. It just so happens that her post today is about infertility and car shopping. As I read this post tears streamed down my eyes and the words hit home. Infertility is a part of our lives in every way. You would never think car shopping and infertility go hand in hand, but they do. So does buying a house. The constant reminders of infertility are with us every day. I will always envy a pregnant woman and think she is so lucky to experience the miracle of childbirth. I wish so bad that I could, but I can't. I will always be grateful to my Heavenly Father for what he has given me for my miracle babies Hollie and Ethan, they mean the world to me and are my world. I will always have that question in the back of my head as to why I have had to endure one of the most heart renching of trials (to me), infertility.

A boat ride to see Christmas lights

We have friends that live in Val Vista Lakes and had offered to take our family around the lake to see all the Christmas lights. We had a blast and the kids absolutely loved riding on a boat!! Thank you so much for the fun evening!They were so kind enough to let the kids drive their boat!

The Christmas Attire

One of my favorite things to do for Christmas is get the kids Christmas outfits to wear to church the Sunday before Christmas. Hollie wanted us to take her picture in her "Christmas dress", but Ethan on the other hand was just being his silly self. Here is the best picture we could get of the 2 of them and a few others.