DELICIOUS!!!

Tonight Ryan walked in the door with these.......

Can we just say YUMMY!!!!!! Strawberries are my most favorite fruit yet alone CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES!!! I have already eaten about half of what is on this plate and I think I am ready for a couple more to tuck me into bed. Thank you Christine for making them and thank you Ryan for not eating them all before you got home, Love You.

Thank you Thank you Thank you

I wanted to give a BIG "THANK YOU" to ALL those people who have been of service to us and helped us during this time. I can't even begin to tell or explain all the love, concern, prayers and help that has been given to my family. I will be forever indebted to all those that have helped. A big THANKS to all our family who took time out of their schedule to stay with us and make sure all days were covered for the first 2 weeks. We are really blessed to have family out of state and in-state to take time out of their busy schedules to help me and my family. A BIG THANKS to all those in our ward who made us FABULOUS meals for the week! THANK YOU to my close friends for all their love, support, concern and help with my children and running a few errands. I am truly blessed to be surounded by such great people and to have the bestest friends...THANK YOU! Thank you again to everyone who has helped us and continues to be of service to our family. We love and appreciate all of you. Thank You Thank You.

Ethan

Ethan just makes me smile. How can this kid not make you smile when you look at him. As my aunt Kathy says, "he has the look like he knows a REALLY big secret and he won't tell you."
If anything has been difficult during this "recovery" time it has been not being able to hold and cuddle with Ethan. He has always been such a momma's boy and lately it has not been that way. There is only so much I can do for him and it's really hard.
The other day he had a breakdown, yes a breakdown. It was Sunday and Ryan and Hollie were at church. Ryan put Ethan down before he left for church and we were hoping he would sleep till they got home. Well, that didn't happen. I had our neighbor come over to get Ethan out of his crib and for 45 minutes Ethan threw the biggest fit I have ever seen. I was doing all I could to comfort him and console him, but nothing was working. I sat on the floor to try and have him come to me and he didn't want ANYTHING to do with me. I sang him songs, talked to him and he just threw himself on the floor, cried, screamed, would walk around and then throw himself back down on the floor. To be honest I think he has just HAD IT and WANTS his MOMMA BACK!! Yes, during this breakdown I was crying too because it was breaking my heart. I was completely helpless and my son didn't want anything to do with me. Finally, after trying everything I gave him a popsicle and it took a few minutes but he calmed down. I held him for about .2 seconds told him I loved him and I am sorry and then he was on his way up the stairs. I still cannot pick him up for another 3 weeks, but he is now starting to come to me if I sit on the floor and hold him. He has yet to give me a kiss...maybe soon...I hope.
Sunday evening before we headed out to my aunt and uncles for dinner I couldn't help but take a few pictures of this little man. First of all LOOK AT THAT HAIR!! It is out of control and we don't know what to do with it. Well, I would trim it, but Ryan likes it long, you know, that "messy surfer" hair. It is getting to the point that when you brush it, put a little gel in it within 5 minutes it looks like this. It is cute, but I think it needs to be tamed. Here is my adorable little boy who I just can't get enough of.

Nana Time

Ryan's mom was also able to come out during my recovery. It was great having her here with us and I know that Hollie LOVED having Nana here! It was all about painting nails, necklaces, anklets, and being all girl! Thanks Gayl!! Hollie loved getting her toes and nails done and she still talks about it. We have painted them a few times since and she just wants to have all the colors on her toes...too cute!!

Mommy Hollie Time

While I have been down and out, my sweet princess has been my best friend! She is always concerned about me and how my tummy is. She will randomly come up to me and say, "Mommy how's your tummy?" She was so concerned and really wanted to know how I was doing. She would come up and give me kisses, hugs or just cuddle. My favorite part was when she would come up and lay down right next to me and watch a movie or just talk. I LOVE hearing her voice. There is nothing better than hearing my little girl talk. I can have a conversation with her and I just LOVE it!! She is adorable and those moments of cuddling with her or just talking with her are priceless.

She also would come in my room when she woke up in the morning and crawl into bed with me. She wanted to be right by my side. We would talk, read books, cuddle, watch cartoons and she even helped me do sudoku (well, she liked telling me all the numbers). The time with her was PRICELESS. I love her so much and am so grateful to have her as my daughter, my princess. This surgery has taught us all a lot and although Hollie is young she understands. She knows that mommy's tummy has always been broken and that surgery was going to help me feel better. My tummy being broken will always be something that we talk about because that is why she came to us the way she did. We truly are so lucky and SO blessed. I am so glad that Hollie is young and I hope that these cuddling moments will continue.

Camping

A year ago we planned to go camping over the Fourth of July with the Hough family. Unfortunately my surgery interupted the plans and it turned out that Ryan and his brother Austin ended up going for just one night. I have to say I was really sad to not be able to go, I missed ya Shanen...maybe next year.

So, Ryan's brother flew in for a week and Ryan was very excited to spend some "one on one" time with Austin. Watching them pack for their little camping trip was cute. Ryan got everything they needed and he even went to the grocery store, picked out some food and from what I hear made delicious foil dinners. They both enjoyed their time together as brother's and loved being with the Hough family!

You may think he was crazy to leave me, but I was okay with him going. I knew it was already in the plans and if I would have told him I didn't want him to leave I know he would have stayed. Renee (she is like my second mom) was here and we just watched girl movies and chatted, it was great! I am glad Ryan had a good time and enjoyed being with his brother.

Brother's proud of their last name (Nope, no relation to Larson Waste from what we know of)

Fun with Papa and Janene

When I was going in for surgery my dad and Janene were here with the kiddos. It was evident that my dad and Janene were very excited because they seemed to have all sorts of stuff to do along with driving our little princess to all her activities. During their "watch" time, they had their running shoes on and ran from morning (5:30am with Ethan) till night. My dad and Janene did a great job and I am so grateful for them. Here are a few pictures I found on my camera of all the fun they had.

Lots of Splashpad Fun!!

Some Slip-N-Slide Fun!! Papa showing how it's done

Hollie taking a try

Ethan's turn

Some squirt-gun Fun!!

Ethan enjoying being a BOY!

"High Five" to Papa!!

Finally....A surgery update!

Well, I am alive! Thank goodness! The surgery went well. It was longer than expected and my doctor said that it was a lot worse than what he had thought. It was a complete hysterectomy which included taking out my uterus, and both ovaries. My doctor told Ryan, while I was in recovery, that there was no way I would have ever been able to get pregnant with medication or even carry a child with IVF (in-vitro fertilization) with how my ovaries and uterus looked. At first, that was hard to hear but it was a definite answer to my prayers and to the blessings which I had received prior to the surgery. Because it was a lot worse than expected I was told that I have to be down for ateast 3 weeks!! I have almost 2 wks (tom. Tuesday) down and 1 more to go before I can slowly start to do things and start to drive! I am really trying to take it easy, but I have to say it is SO hard to just lay here and not do anything. I have read a few books, become a pro at sudoku and have started writing my kids adoption stories that I will put in a book for them one day. I am trying to stay positive and keep my spirits up. My hormones are going crazy and the hot flashes are HORRIBLE!! If anyone has advice on those I would LOVE to hear about it. I don't want to have to go on medication, but these hot flashes are keeping me up at night and I never realized how good I slept at night until now. I know that my body is in shock right now and that it is going to take some time to figure itself out, but if anyone has any advice, please leave a comment I would love to hear about it. If I do need to go on hormones we have already talked about doing bio-identical, we have read about them and heard that they are great!
As of now, thank you to everyone for your thoughts, concerns and help. From my family to yours, thank you.

Our New Sunday Mornings

As I stated in a post awhile back our Sunday's are not very quiet or peaceful. We have tried a few different things with the kids and finally just gave up and accepted that we won't have nice quiet spiritual Sunday's until the kids are older. Ryan and I are both okay with it and just started to enjoy it the way it was. Well, one Sunday something happened and it has actually stuck! Hollie has come to LOVE what she calls, "Jesus movies". Her and Ryan lay on the floor with blankets and she watches these movies and will watch them over and over. Her favorite one is "To This End Was I Born". Hollie calls it her, "Jesus gets ouies movie". She will watch this, ask questions and knows exactly what is happening. The movie is about the life of Jesus and goes through all that he suffered and went through for us; including the resurection. The movie is amazing and, ofcourse, I tear up every time I watch it. It has made such a difference in our house and I am so grateful. We also have a few other cartoon movies that are for Sunday and she loves those too. I am so grateful for the small little things in life that can teach our children with the spirit.After church we come home and while I make dinner daddy reads books to Hollie and Ethan. I LOVE that our children are slowly understanding what Sunday is all about and that it is a "special" day.

I am on the phone, kids upstairs...equals...............

Hollie trying to put mascara on Ethan.

Here I was trying to arrange things for surgery and Ryan comes home walks upstairs and finds Ethan like this. We both couldn't stop laughing. Luckily mascara was only on his head and not all over furniture, but do you see how close it is to his eye???? Ya, I am SO lucky she didn't poke his eye out. Although we have had this chat about make-up before it was time we had it again. This equals two very cute, curious, fun kids who I LOVE more than anything!!