Ethan

Ethan just makes me smile. How can this kid not make you smile when you look at him. As my aunt Kathy says, "he has the look like he knows a REALLY big secret and he won't tell you."
If anything has been difficult during this "recovery" time it has been not being able to hold and cuddle with Ethan. He has always been such a momma's boy and lately it has not been that way. There is only so much I can do for him and it's really hard.
The other day he had a breakdown, yes a breakdown. It was Sunday and Ryan and Hollie were at church. Ryan put Ethan down before he left for church and we were hoping he would sleep till they got home. Well, that didn't happen. I had our neighbor come over to get Ethan out of his crib and for 45 minutes Ethan threw the biggest fit I have ever seen. I was doing all I could to comfort him and console him, but nothing was working. I sat on the floor to try and have him come to me and he didn't want ANYTHING to do with me. I sang him songs, talked to him and he just threw himself on the floor, cried, screamed, would walk around and then throw himself back down on the floor. To be honest I think he has just HAD IT and WANTS his MOMMA BACK!! Yes, during this breakdown I was crying too because it was breaking my heart. I was completely helpless and my son didn't want anything to do with me. Finally, after trying everything I gave him a popsicle and it took a few minutes but he calmed down. I held him for about .2 seconds told him I loved him and I am sorry and then he was on his way up the stairs. I still cannot pick him up for another 3 weeks, but he is now starting to come to me if I sit on the floor and hold him. He has yet to give me a kiss...maybe soon...I hope.
Sunday evening before we headed out to my aunt and uncles for dinner I couldn't help but take a few pictures of this little man. First of all LOOK AT THAT HAIR!! It is out of control and we don't know what to do with it. Well, I would trim it, but Ryan likes it long, you know, that "messy surfer" hair. It is getting to the point that when you brush it, put a little gel in it within 5 minutes it looks like this. It is cute, but I think it needs to be tamed. Here is my adorable little boy who I just can't get enough of.